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Meditation is better than do nothing

Been a while, isn’t it? Could have been longer, though, hadn’t I had a laugh in the middle of night, falling victim to an almost Douglas-Adams-like thought.

Having had a few verbal exchanges with visitors to Auroville, some of the main topics covered had to do with the township’s reason to exist, and inhowfar achievements have been made. There is the notion that an utopian project has to provide perfect conditions to its participants right from the start, did you ever notice that? Did you ever read “Ecotopia” or the likes of it? Funny how people come up with moral issues when critisizing what they cannot grasp. You get that a lot, as well, when it is about Auroville.

Yes, in its 47th year it is still far from having reached any of its goals. 2200 residents are not 50,000; the economy is heavily dependent on imported goods, paid labour, government support, and tourism; there are people who exploit the system, there is corruption, incapability, and all the rest of it. And as much as I would like to see the Mother’s dream, OUR, dream of Auroville flourish more visibly, it is only about to take shape inwardly. How to manifest that on the material level is still unclear, clouded by our -still overemphasized- individual ideas. All of us have grown up in sick societies or have been raised by parents who did. Indians, foreigners and born Aurovilians alike. We need to unlearn right about everything that has been put into us, learn how to look at things with fresh, unprejudiced eyes, and then practice our new findings in daily life. Trial and error, for there is very little precedence to what we want to achieve. The Mother had a reason to call Auroville a laboratory. Experiments are there to test theories, which includes failure if the theories don’t work out. The theories then need adjustment to what we have learned, in that experiment, about reality. Then another round starts, then yet another, on and on and on. Step by step we approach the kind of society that works for all of us.

Auroville exists because there is no other place in the world where one can free oneself of all baggage, without having to face severe sanctions. Traditions, morals, rules, religions, public opinions can be disregarded in order to shape a new kind of life. No final written warning, no injunction, no law suit, no prison, no job loss, no homelessness waiting right around the corner to not only stop us in our tracks but threaten our very existence.

To many a man this much freedom, a life full of question marks, looks horrifyingly threatening. The unknown is what we dread most. But the unknown cannot be fought with weapons. It cannot be withheld by rules forever. And that is a good thing, for every time we face it we lose our fear in exchange for the knowledge of something new. When you open yourself up to the Auroville experience you become fully aware of the all-encompassing rule of fear and violence over the life of you and your neighbours. Those who deny it need liberation more urgently than anyone. [So far I am only speaking of outwardly freedom. Its inner dimensions shall be discussed in a later article]

New ideas manifest best when they can develop unhindered, sheltered from suffocating traditions. The Mother saw clearly that humanity needs such a place. For more than fourty years she imagined, pondered and planned, and when Auroville was eventually inaugurated we have been presented with a marvellous model, a city the shape of a spiral galaxy.

So far, so good.
But what if the Mother played a practical joke on us? What if she knew well that there would never be 50,000? No spiral galaxy? No human unity. Not anytime soon, anyway. Just a place to be.

Did she foresee the difficulties we are going through? What would a good-humoured woman like her do to make us continue efforts over the decades, keep on trying against all circumstances and not despair just after death took away her guidance? What if the galaxy city was not meant as sort of an artificial environment in which to evolve mankind, but as a carrot on a stick that motivates people to come and help and stay in pursuit of creating something quite tangible. More tangible anyway than increase in consciousness. Give’em something to sink their teeth in. Maybe it doesn’t matter what is to become of Auroville in terms of figures and physical appearance.
For it is much more important that this place came into existence and continues to attract, and be populated by, people “who aspire for a higher and truer life”, than for a specific urban concept to get built. The torch must continue to burn so it can cast its light on future generations. Auroville is needed for those willing to practice self-governance, develop the skills of how to live together without fear and violence, and do away with everything that keeps us from opening up to that which is beyond material, vital, and mental things.

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Divine conspiracy

Some thoughts that appeared after reading “To be a true Aurovilian”, a text given by The Mother.

1) They say, “Good things come to those who wait”. In Auroville (or any spiritual community) the right thing comes along as soon as there is a need for it. A typical example would be the balance created by the flow of goods and services within a gift circle, where the gift tends to go where the most urgent need is, so that everyone’s needs get met.
The sense of possession distracts the trust in that “mechanism”. Instead of asking, “What can I give? How can I make your life more wonderful?” the possessive mind focusses on, “How can I get the most? What is in there for me? How can I preserve my stuff?” and thereby nourishes greed, building up severe imbalances of wealth and power.

2) Material life, along with personal identity, is like clothing. It is covering the surface of the actual body. We can pretend that there is nothing beneath the fancy surface and then even forget that we pretend, but the psychic body, as well as the physical one, has needs that ought to be met. If we don’t satisfy our hunger, the body will get weaker, become ill, and eventually die.

3) There is a difference between needs and desires. Needs are asking for the most basic elements that keep us alive. We can live without satisfying desires, the stuff we wish for, but we cannot last long with our needs unmet. Desires are like addictions. Sometimes they feel like urgent needs, but actually they just distract our mind by keeping us in constant movement in pursuit of excitement.

4) There is another difference, between desires and aspiration.
How do you know that the thing you wish for is coming from a higher consciousness, your true inner self, and is therefore sincerely aspired; or when is it merely a desire of the ego?
If your ego desires something you will hardly be able to let go of it. You cannot accept a “no”. When your desire gets satisfied new desires arise shortly after. If it does not get satisfied, you cannot give up the idea without feeling pity, frustration, grief, anger, and/or victimization.
The one who aspires is not dependent on specific results. There is no attachment to a certain outcome to an effort. He does not force others into accordance. He is not frustrated in case of failure; aspiration means acceptance of, and surrender to, the supreme reality (or fate, or the ways of the Universe, or God’s will, if you wish. One of my fellow newcomers called it Divine Conspiracy.)
Although the powers of the Universe sometimes seem to plot against your plans, like the gods of ancient Greece, in the end it always turns out that the right thing did happen when you failed. We must fail in order to understand what works not. We must fail in order to learn how to accept failures. We must fail in order to realize we cannot possibly go against the will of the Divine Consciousness (or the laws of nature, or God’s plan, if you wish) and hope to succeed in that. The Supreme has its ways, and we better trust in its general benevolence.

As an example, after having heard of Auroville I was quite on fire. At last a place where I would be free, where I would fit in, where I could put in my energy and my efforts for the benefit of mankind. It finally turned out to be the right decision to come here, very well in line with the plans of the Highest Consciousness; but looking back from today’s point of view it started primarily as one of my ego’s desires. By the teachings of Adyashanti, and also during my first stay here, as a guest, I learned that life in general, and this place especially, is not about me, my liberation, and my development in the first place, but about serving a higher truth. Only along with the sincere aspiration for the realization of that truth comes my liberation as an individual. I had to develop trust into the idea that everything will turn out as it is supposed to be, and the Aurovilians, creating the welcoming atmosphere in this township, helped a lot with that. It actually worked out for me, not only as a concept, but in various experiences.

Still the question remained, “Am I enforcing some self-centered mental idea, or am I supposed to be here?”
So, is it desire or aspiration that makes me want to join Auroville? Now that you know the difference you can imagine what I went through since my discovery of the place. I was looking for ways to be absolutely sure. I didn’t want to fool myself. How could I tell that my motivation was sincerely based in the realm beyond rationality, beyond the ego? How could I ensure I was not deluding myself?
Not to be attached to become a citizen was the ultimate test I could take, and when I realized that, I several times tried again to get in touch with a friend who recently seemed to refuse talking to me. By word of mouth I had the impression that he was not too well off now. A few years ago he helped me financially, so this was both an opportunity to bring back the non-abusive part of our former relationship and find out if I was ready to give up Auroville in case my friend needed the money more urgently than I did.
After four previously failed meeting appointments, another three attempts to re-establish contact were unsuccessful – completely. It was disappointing that a chance for reconciliation has been turned down, but I had to accept that. At least there were no more doubts about sincerety, and at the same time my path to Auroville has been confirmed.

The observation of the movements of mind and body during that period of time raised awareness of similar situations when the ego pretends to have a “need” that “must” be met under any circumstances. It is so much easier now to identify the diversion and counter it by taking a step back. Suddenly there is openness towards the results of my attempts to achieve my goals. What are my petty ideas compared to the work of a higher truth? Suddenly the pressure and the frustration dissolute. And life becomes beautiful in each and every moment.

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The weight of consciousness

Due to some changes in my personal life I have been silent for a while. I also think that this situation is going to continue. The reason is that, after quite some months of staying back in old Europe, I have finally moved to Auroville where life is less about talking rather than about being and doing. Waking up with the sun, working on a garden / farm in the early morning hours, doing other necessary stuff around noon, learning and meeting people in the afternoon, going to bed on sunset. Life is simple in the sense of being intimately connected to the cycles, means, and methods of nature. It is close to how it is supposed to be. So I am on my way and I like it.

Auroville is a very special place. Of course it is. That’s why I am here. It is a township the description of which would take voluminous books, or thousands of witnesses’ statements, but still you wouldn’t get what it is like to live here. You got to feel it yourself.

The thing with any description is their subjectivity. Which is not a bad thing. Quite the opposite. It is just that people tend to unintentionally reveal much more of their worldview than making an appropriate description of Auroville. Maybe it is the dissimilarity of its ways, compared to our countries of origin, maybe it is Auroville’s openness towards all sorts of experiments that makes us project our values on everything we experience round here, like a slide on a blank screen.

What we see in Auroville is exactly what we expect to see. We behave accordingly and as a result we receive the corresponding reaction of our environment. So our egos, our superficial selves materialize in the outside world which verifies and reinforces the projection we started out with. I witnessed this mechanism in almost every person I have been talking to. The more misanthropic their mind is, the more they critisize Auroville for its failures. The more materialistic their worldview, the more business opportunities they see. The more altruistic they think, the happier they tend to become here. Just a few examples out of a multitude.

It can be quite fascinating to consciously toy around with this insight, as a way of finding out the way your thoughts are altering your experiences, or as a way of discovering aspects of Auroville that previously haven’t come to the mind.
Personally, I prefer not to judge other people’s behaviour. I see quite some greed and selfishness – I also see aspiration towards human unity and desire for learning and improving things. I see aberrations, malfunctions, messing up  – I also see some success with building a new kind of society.
But foremost I see loads of opportunities to develop, inwardly and outwardly. Auroville offers to its inhabitants opportunities you usually don’t get elsewhere. As long as you stay focused on things going ‘wrong’, e.g. other people’s selfishness, expanding bureaucracy, rising prices… (you name it) you  will miss the whole point of this project: that this is about improving the world by improving yourself. Don’t wait for others to get on track; don’t wait for the situation to become more favorable. The time is now, and it is up to you to do as much as you can to make your life worth living while at the same time you make the world a nicer place for everyone.