Now, who’s the jerk?

Fundstücke der heutigen Aufräumerei. Schule hat manchmal auch gerockt.

Englisch Arbeitsblatt 1: British Newspapers
THE TIMES – read by the people who run the country.
DAILY MIRROR – read by the people who think they run the country.
GUARDIAN – read by the people who think they ought to run the country.
MORNING STAR – read by the people who think the country ought to be run by another country.
DAILY MAIL – read by the wives of the people who run the country.
FINANCIAL TIMES – read by the people who own the country.
DAILY EXPRESS – read by the people who think the country ought to be run as it used to be.
THE DAILY TELEGRAPH – read by the people who think it still is.
THE SUN – read by the people who couldn’t care less who runs the -#*!@- country, providing she’s got big tits.

Englisch Arbeitsblatt 2: Religions explained
Taoism – Shit happens.
Confucianism – Confucius says: “Shit happens”.
Buddhism – Shit happening is an illusion.
Zen – What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism – This shit has happened before.
Islam – Shit happening is the will of Allah.
Judaism – Why does shit always happen to us?
Catholicism – If shit happens, you deserve it.
Calvinism – Shit happens because you don’t work hard enough.
Christian science – If shit happens, pray and it will go away.
Protestantism – Please let shit happen to someone else!
Atheism – Shit happens for no reason.
Agnosticism – Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn’t.
Stoicism – Shit happens. I can take it.
Hare Krishna – Shit happens, shit happens, shit happens…
Johova’s Witnesses – Let us in and we’ll tell you why shit happens.
Rastafarianism – Let’s smoke this shit and see what happens.

The homeless troll and the cat with the Hitler mustache

Beim Googlen nach einem alten text adventure (Colossal Cave) stieß ich zufällig auf eine amüsante Kurzgeschichte.

…that poor cat was always outside, watching the carless stragglers. I wanted to pet it but I didn’t because it would make me just as bad as anyone else, condoning its outsideness.
I just kept as far away as I could from that cat, shut my curtains, and pretended I lived on a country lane or on a studio backlot. Finally one day the cat scared the shit out of me…

Waking Life

Just watched Waking Life, a film of 1 1/2 hours of philosophy upon life, death, communication, dream and reality.
The most amazing animated cartoon I ever saw.
No, that is the wrong term. Not animated cartoon. It is a painting alive! A Monet combined with a Warhol, running over the screen like water and oil. Nothing keeps shape for longer than a second, but the persons’ gestures and facial expressions all look so real.
Despite the irritating visual impressions and the partly mind-fucking explanations on what life is about I was able to keep concentration and understand language (English) and sense of what was said – which amazes me once again 😀

The story itself is short: A young man wakes up from a dream, only to find that he is in another dream. Time and time again. Trying to get a hint how to get out he meets people (bon-vivants, psychos, scientists, artists etc) who talk about their view upon things.

Good film for silent moments.

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